Children

Can Terms of a Custody Agreement Be Changed?

November 6, 2024 | Kearns Rotolo Law

When a divorce involves young children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In New Jersey, the terms of the custody agreement can be negotiated by the parents or decided by a family court judge. If the parents work out the terms on their own, their agreement must be submitted to the court for approval before becoming legally enforceable. Although the judge generally will consider the rights of each parent when deciding on custody arrangements, his or her final decision will be based on what is in the best interest of the child.

It is possible that over time circumstances change resulting in the original custody arrangements no longer serving the child’s best interest. Because the arrangements are legally binding, however, parents must return to court to have the agreement officially amended. Under what circumstances is a judge likely to consider amending a custody agreement? Read “5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody” to find out.

How to Listen to Your Children When Divorcing

October 2, 2024 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Divorce is a difficult, highly emotional transition. Everyone involved experiences a gamut of emotions – sadness, fear, grief, anger, and so on. It’s human nature to want to express those emotions and vent. As a parent, though, you are warned of the dangers of speaking ill of your ex-spouse in front of your children, so you learn to compartmentalize and control your feelings. But what about your children?

Children share the same feelings and emotions you do when you divorce. On top of that, they may also feel helpless and, perhaps, even guilty. Listening to your children and allowing them to express their feelings can go a long way in helping them manage this transition in their home life. For advice on how to do that, read “How to Deal with Children’s Questions About Parents’ Divorce.”

Your Spouse Asks for a Divorce, Now What?

August 7, 2024 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Whether you saw it coming or not, once your spouse tells you they want a divorce, you’ll start to grapple with trying to understand what your future will look like. Your initial reaction may be to try and save your marriage but, if that fails, you’ll be left with a number of questions: How will I tell the kids? Where will I live? How will I support myself/my family?

No one can predict exactly what post-divorce life will look like, but there are steps you can take to protect your assets and ensure that you and your family have something to start with. To learn what some of the first steps you should take are, watch “7 Immediate Actions to Take When Your Spouse Requests a Divorce.”

Helping Kids Cope When Co-Parents Don’t Agree on the Rules

February 1, 2024 | Kearns Rotolo Law

While co-parenting after divorce has its benefits, it also presents obstacles – not only for the parents but for the children, too. Let’s face it, if you and your ex agreed on everything, chances are you wouldn’t be divorced. So, it wouldn’t be unusual for divorced parents to have different rules when it comes to raising their children.

When parenting styles differ, it can create confusion and frustration for children who split their time 50/50 between their divorced parents’ homes. In some cases, it may even cause the children to act out and lead to behavioral problems. How can you ease this confusion and make it easier for your child when you and your ex can’t get on the same page? Read “Two Homes, Two Sets of Rules” for some suggestions.

It’s the Conflict, Not the Divorce, That Can Do the Most Harm

January 1, 2024 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Parents have an instinct to protect their children, especially when it comes to matters within their control. That’s why many couples who stay in marriages that are no longer working say they are doing so for the sake of the children. They fear divorce would cause them irreparable harm, but that isn’t necessarily the case. In fact, research shows that often it is the conflict between parents, not the divorce, that does the most harm.

When it comes to divorce, how parents handle themselves and the process can determine what effect the event will have on everyone. A recent Huffington Post survey of children of divorce asked what those children wished their parents had done differently. Their responses may offer some guidance. To learn more, read “17 Things Children of Divorce Wish Their Parents Had Done Differently.”

How to Break the News of Your Divorce to Your Kids Regardless of Age

May 1, 2023 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Once the decision to divorce is made, the next important step for a couple is to break the news to their children. But how do you tell them that the family structure as they know it will no longer look the same, while reassuring them that they will continue to be loved and cared for by both parents?

Obviously, the age of the child will have a lot to do with the words you choose and the details you offer when explaining your decision to divorce. For some guidance, read “An Age-by-Age Guide to Talking to Kids About Divorce.”

When Co-Parenting Doesn’t Work

March 1, 2023 | Kearns Rotolo Law

It’s no secret that children do best when both parents are involved in their lives. This holds true for children of divorce, too, and it’s the reason many divorced parents choose to co-parent as part of their custody arrangement.

Co-parenting allows parents to continue working together to raise their children even after their marriage ends. But it requires cooperation and the ability to put up a united front in matters pertaining to the children. This isn’t something all parents can do, especially if they have a tumultuous relationship and have just gone through a contentious divorce. When co-parenting continues to expose children to tension between their parents, it could have a harmful rather than healing effect.

So, what are parents to do when they want to remain active in their children’s lives but simply cannot work with their ex? Consider the alternatives, one of which is parallel parenting. To learn more about this parenting arrangement, read “What Is Parallel Parenting?”

Getting Through the Holidays Post-Divorce

November 1, 2022 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Adjusting to life after divorce can be difficult, especially around holidays that put so much emphasis on family and traditions. As hard as it is for couples to make these adjustments, imagine how much harder it can be for children who are struggling to understand the changes their families are going through.

Thanksgiving is just a few short weeks away. For suggestions on how you can make this and the holidays that follow a little less stressful for your children—and hopefully yourself—read “Your Child’s First Thanksgiving After Divorce.”

Children—The Unseen Victims of Domestic Violence

June 1, 2022 | Kearns Rotolo Law

Society dictates that the ideal family is one where children are raised by two parents all living under the same roof. Yet, there are circumstances when staying together for the sake of the children is far from the best choice.

Parents involved in a domestic violence relationship may think they are hiding the abuse from their children, but often that is a false assumption. A recent study confirms that children of domestic violence—whether they are targets or witnesses—are two times more likely to develop long-term issues than their peers. To learn more about the impact domestic violence can have on the child who repeatedly witnesses this type of abuse read, “NJ Advocate: Children Being Damaged in Homes with Domestic Violence.”

Divorce 101: First Things First

February 1, 2022 | Kearns Rotolo Law

There is a lot more involved to a divorce than two people simply going their own ways. Couples have an overwhelming number of decisions to make—how to divide their assets, where to live and, for parents, how to continue caring for their children, to name a few.

As difficult as it may be, cutting through the emotions and focusing on the logistics involved in the process one step at a time can help you better prepare for your post-divorce life. For a look at a step-by-step plan for your divorce, read “What To Do Before Filing For a Divorce.”