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Focus on man's hands removing wedding band as he contemplates getting divorcedMost people do believe marriage is a life-long commitment, and they don’t take the vow “to death do us part” lightly. But every marriage has its ups and downs and the disappointments and frustrations that come with the lowest downs can cause couples to question whether they should stick it out or go their separate ways.

Just like marriage, though, divorce is a serious decision that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Before taking such a huge step, couples should ask themselves some soul-searching questions to determine whether it is, in fact, the right decision for them. For a few examples, read “Is Divorce The Right Answer? 16 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Making A Final Decision.”

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Rear view of child sitting on a bed looking out a window with pillows in front of it; when custody agreements no longer work the court can amend the termsWhen a divorce involves young children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In New Jersey, the terms of the custody agreement can be negotiated by the parents or decided by a family court judge. If the parents work out the terms on their own, their agreement must be submitted to the court for approval before becoming legally enforceable. Although the judge generally will consider the rights of each parent when deciding on custody arrangements, his or her final decision will be based on what is in the best interest of the child.

It is possible that over time circumstances change resulting in the original custody arrangements no longer serving the child’s best interest. Because the arrangements are legally binding, however, parents must return to court to have the agreement officially amended. Under what circumstances is a judge likely to consider amending a custody agreement? Read “5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody” to find out.

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How-to-Listen-to-Your-Child-300x200Divorce is a difficult, highly emotional transition. Everyone involved experiences a gamut of emotions – sadness, fear, grief, anger, and so on. It’s human nature to want to express those emotions and vent. As a parent, though, you are warned of the dangers of speaking ill of your ex-spouse in front of your children, so you learn to compartmentalize and control your feelings. But what about your children?

Children share the same feelings and emotions you do when you divorce. On top of that, they may also feel helpless and, perhaps, even guilty. Listening to your children and allowing them to express their feelings can go a long way in helping them manage this transition in their home life. For advice on how to do that, read “How to Deal with Children’s Questions About Parents’ Divorce.”

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Risks-for-Divorce-300x200Most couples would agree that a successful marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes commitment, communication, and compromise. Yet even the most compatible couples face challenges, particularly when going through major life transitions – having children, major career changes, losing a job, retiring, facing a health crisis. Events like these present stressors that can put a strain on the healthiest marriages.

Did you know, however, that the risk of divorce can also vary based on the number of years you’ve been married? There are different stressors that affect us as we age and impact the state of our marriage. To learn more, read “Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck split: What’s your divorce risk by years of marriage?“

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Immediate-divorce-actions-300x200Whether you saw it coming or not, once your spouse tells you they want a divorce, you’ll start to grapple with trying to understand what your future will look like. Your initial reaction may be to try and save your marriage but, if that fails, you’ll be left with a number of questions: How will I tell the kids? Where will I live? How will I support myself/my family?

No one can predict exactly what post-divorce life will look like, but there are steps you can take to protect your assets and ensure that you and your family have something to start with. To learn what some of the first steps you should take are, watch “7 Immediate Actions to Take When Your Spouse Requests a Divorce.”

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A man and a woman's hand pulling a dollar bill representing the financial conflicts that can prolong divorce proceedings.Some of the biggest hurdles facing a divorcing couple, other than child custody issues, involve money matters. These fights can prove costly, both financially and emotionally. Long, drawn-out arguments over the distribution of assets or the terms of support obligations can extend proceedings and increase the overall cost of your divorce. Therefore, it can be in the best interests of both parties to resolve these issues as expeditiously as possible.

One way to de-escalate financial conflicts is to maintain open communications with your soon-to-be ex, if possible – be honest about your financial situation and expectations. If circumstances surrounding your divorce don’t allow for this open communication, there are other strategies you can explore to help keep your financial conflicts to a minimum. To learn more, read “7 Ways to Reduce Money Conflicts in Divorce.”

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Social-Media-Cheating-300x200For many people, social media is simply a way to keep in touch with extended family, reconnect with long-lost friends, share light-hearted memes, or otherwise expand their social and/or professional networks. But what may start out as innocent fun can have troubling consequences for couples who are not open about their social media activities and expectations.

Certain social media interactions, even when engaged in innocently, can be misconstrued as cheating when couples lack this open communication. And since infidelity ranks high on the list of grounds for divorce, this doesn’t bode well for the marriage. To understand what social media activities could jeopardize your marriage, read “10 Social Media Habits That Are Technically Cheating.”

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High-Conflict-Divorce-300x200For victims of domestic abuse, freeing themselves from the relationship is paramount to their safety. While divorce is one solution, it may not be as easy as it sounds, and the courts are not always prepared to help.

Abuse can take on many forms—emotional, psychological, and physical. Unfortunately, emotional and psychological abuse can be difficult to prove, often resulting in a he said/she said conflict. Lacking any evidence of physical abuse, the courts hearing divorce motions will often view these cases as “high conflict” divorces and, in doing so, essentially lay blame on both parties. The result is a situation that gets worse before it gets better. To learn more about what a victim of domestic abuse may face when going for a divorce, read “If It’s ‘High-Conflict,’ It’s Likely Post-separation Abuse.”

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Trial separations allow couples to go their own way to decide if divorce is the answer.When a marriage has been in trouble for an extended period, couples may believe their only options are to stay in an unhappy situation or file for divorce. For those not ready to commit either way, there is a third option.

A trial separation can give a couple some breathing room to figure out if their marriage is salvageable or if divorce is imminent. To help decide whether a trial separation could work for you read “7 Signs It’s Time for a Trial Separation, Therapists Say.”

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Social Media posting can impact your divorce proceedingsSome people find social media a great way to keep up to date with friends and family; others use it to vent their anger and frustrations. The immediacy of social media can be cathartic to some extent, but it can have its consequences especially when you are going through a divorce.

Whether you are sharing photos of your latest impulse purchase or complaining about your soon-to-be ex, what you – and your friends – post on social media can work against you in your divorce. How? Read “Divorce and the Power of Social Media” for more information.

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