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Prenuptial agreements can be a practical part of wedding planning.June is one of the three most popular months for weddings. While most couples spend months planning for their special day and their life beyond, there is one practical tool that frequently gets overlooked – the prenup.

Prenuptial agreements can be very sensitive matters. After all, no one wants to think about divorce when planning their wedding, making prenups the least romantic of all wedding planning topics. For some people, prenups are a consideration only for the wealthy, or worse, a sign of mistrust. Others view these agreements as a necessity for protecting each partner’s personal assets. Whatever your opinion, it’s helpful to fully understand the ins and outs of these contracts before deciding whether they make sense for you. To learn more about prenuptial agreements, common myths pertaining to these contracts, and how to broach this sensitive topic with your partner, read “The ultimate guide to prenuptial agreements: Benefits, myths and tips.”

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'Birdnesting' is a co-parenting concept where parents take turns tending children in their marital home, like this bald eagle tending her eaglets.Divorce is fraught with difficult decisions. For parents, one of the most stressful decisions has to do with child custody. After all, while the relationship between spouses may be over, the relationships between parent and child are not. That’s why many divorcing parents strive to reach agreement on some type of co-parenting arrangement.

There are many variations of what a co-parenting arrangement looks like, but most have the child or children splitting their time between Mom and Dad’s respective homes. Depending on how far Mom and Dad live from each other, this can be disruptive to their children’s schedules and social lives. A less disruptive arrangement is one referred to as ‘birdnesting’ where the parents, rather than the children, changes houses, but even this arrangement has its challenges. To learn more about this co-parenting concept and whether it could work for you read, “What is ‘Birdnesting’ and Is It Right for Your Family?”

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Interviewing a divorce lawyer; questions to ask a divorce attorneyAs emotional as divorce can be, it’s important to keep a clear head as you navigate the process. Acting out of fear or anger or making rash decisions can have negative consequences in the long run. The best approach to help ease a painful situation is to take things one step at a time.

One of the first steps is finding a divorce attorney who will have your best interest in mind. When interviewing attorneys, take advantage of the consultation sessions offered and come prepared. For suggestions of what questions to ask, read “7 Critical Questions to Ask Your Divorce Lawyer (So You Don’t Get Exploited).”

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Circumstances under which a judge may change child custody agreements; petition for child custody formWhen parents of minor children divorce, one of the most critical decisions for the court to consider is the legal and/or physical custody of those children. Factors the courts examine to resolve the question of custody include the health, financial state, and lifestyle of the parents, the stability of the home environment, any history of domestic violence or abuse, and the relationships between the children and their parents and siblings. The decision is then based on the principle of “the best interest of the child.”

Custody and visitation arrangements for the most part are intended to be in place until the child reaches the age of majority, which in New Jersey is 18. At that point it is expected that the child can make his or her own decision on where to live. There are circumstances, however, when the courts can intervene and change the terms of the custody agreement before the child reaches 18. To learn what can cause a judge to change a custody agreement read, “5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody.”

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Self-reflection can help healing after divorce-woman sitting alone with cup of coffee, candles and journal in slef-reflection.Divorce is a complex situation. Rarely can all the blame be attributed to one partner yet still, when a marriage fails, it is human nature to look inward to find the cause. Be careful, though. There is a thin line between self-reflection and self-blame.

Self-blame can wear down your self-confidence and impede your ability to build healthy relationships in the future; whereas self-reflection can allow you to acknowledge your role in your marriage’s failing and learn from it. For a better understanding of how self-reflection can help you heal and move forward after your divorce read, “Are You Asking ‘What Did I Do Wrong to End Up Divorcing?’”

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Man's legs walking away as house keys lie on the ground -- marital abandonment can be cited as grounds for divorce.Marital abandonment is when one spouse leaves the relationship without telling or consulting with the other spouse. This can be cited as grounds for divorce in states that allow for at-fault divorces as well as in hybrid states like New Jersey, which recognizes both no-fault and at-fault divorces.

Because marital abandonment can be classified into different types – criminal, constructive, emotional, spiritual – the circumstances surrounding the abandonment, in addition to whether your state is a no-fault, at-fault, or hybrid state, will play a role in determining how you would file for divorce. To learn more, read “What You Need to Know About Marital Abandonment.”

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Focus on man's hands removing wedding band as he contemplates getting divorcedMost people do believe marriage is a life-long commitment, and they don’t take the vow “to death do us part” lightly. But every marriage has its ups and downs and the disappointments and frustrations that come with the lowest downs can cause couples to question whether they should stick it out or go their separate ways.

Just like marriage, though, divorce is a serious decision that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Before taking such a huge step, couples should ask themselves some soul-searching questions to determine whether it is, in fact, the right decision for them. For a few examples, read “Is Divorce The Right Answer? 16 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Making A Final Decision.”

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Rear view of child sitting on a bed looking out a window with pillows in front of it; when custody agreements no longer work the court can amend the termsWhen a divorce involves young children, one of the most important issues to consider is child custody. In New Jersey, the terms of the custody agreement can be negotiated by the parents or decided by a family court judge. If the parents work out the terms on their own, their agreement must be submitted to the court for approval before becoming legally enforceable. Although the judge generally will consider the rights of each parent when deciding on custody arrangements, his or her final decision will be based on what is in the best interest of the child.

It is possible that over time circumstances change resulting in the original custody arrangements no longer serving the child’s best interest. Because the arrangements are legally binding, however, parents must return to court to have the agreement officially amended. Under what circumstances is a judge likely to consider amending a custody agreement? Read “5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody” to find out.

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How-to-Listen-to-Your-Child-300x200Divorce is a difficult, highly emotional transition. Everyone involved experiences a gamut of emotions – sadness, fear, grief, anger, and so on. It’s human nature to want to express those emotions and vent. As a parent, though, you are warned of the dangers of speaking ill of your ex-spouse in front of your children, so you learn to compartmentalize and control your feelings. But what about your children?

Children share the same feelings and emotions you do when you divorce. On top of that, they may also feel helpless and, perhaps, even guilty. Listening to your children and allowing them to express their feelings can go a long way in helping them manage this transition in their home life. For advice on how to do that, read “How to Deal with Children’s Questions About Parents’ Divorce.”

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Risks-for-Divorce-300x200Most couples would agree that a successful marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes commitment, communication, and compromise. Yet even the most compatible couples face challenges, particularly when going through major life transitions – having children, major career changes, losing a job, retiring, facing a health crisis. Events like these present stressors that can put a strain on the healthiest marriages.

Did you know, however, that the risk of divorce can also vary based on the number of years you’ve been married? There are different stressors that affect us as we age and impact the state of our marriage. To learn more, read “Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck split: What’s your divorce risk by years of marriage?“

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